Dear Friend,
If I call you, as you have repeatedly asked me to do, what favor will you ask of me this time? How will you trap me into committing my time and energy (both of which are quite scarce these days) on your behalf? I could simply decline, honestly, as I have done in the past; however, the word "no" seems to nurture your manipulative skills, and I would rather be spared the contortions (by both of us) that would follow.
Please don't misunderstand me: I care about you and your well-being. I wish we could be close and talk frequently.
Please don't misunderstand the situation: it is you, not I, who has caused the distance, by your inability to hide your complete disinterest in me or my life, by your requests for help for one thing or another, by your view of our friendship as merely a resource for fulfilling your needs.
Please do not forget: I have helped you many times.
Please be aware: the help I have given you came at some expense, sometimes money, but mostly time away from my family, my job, and my sleep.
So, Friend, I continue to hesitate. I have not decided to call you. I likely will call you, eventually. I do, after all, love you and want to help you if you need help. Nevertheless, I hope that when I call you, this time you will want to talk, like friends, and you will have no ulterior motive. Meanwhile, I will look for free time during which my family and other friends don't deserve my attention. Then, having both compiled a list of excuses for not being able to solve your problem (imagining numerous possible scenarios) and mustered up the requisite energy to address your needs, I will call you.
If I call you, as you have repeatedly asked me to do, what favor will you ask of me this time? How will you trap me into committing my time and energy (both of which are quite scarce these days) on your behalf? I could simply decline, honestly, as I have done in the past; however, the word "no" seems to nurture your manipulative skills, and I would rather be spared the contortions (by both of us) that would follow.
Please don't misunderstand me: I care about you and your well-being. I wish we could be close and talk frequently.
Please don't misunderstand the situation: it is you, not I, who has caused the distance, by your inability to hide your complete disinterest in me or my life, by your requests for help for one thing or another, by your view of our friendship as merely a resource for fulfilling your needs.
Please do not forget: I have helped you many times.
Please be aware: the help I have given you came at some expense, sometimes money, but mostly time away from my family, my job, and my sleep.
So, Friend, I continue to hesitate. I have not decided to call you. I likely will call you, eventually. I do, after all, love you and want to help you if you need help. Nevertheless, I hope that when I call you, this time you will want to talk, like friends, and you will have no ulterior motive. Meanwhile, I will look for free time during which my family and other friends don't deserve my attention. Then, having both compiled a list of excuses for not being able to solve your problem (imagining numerous possible scenarios) and mustered up the requisite energy to address your needs, I will call you.
2 comments:
Oh, god, I'm so sorry! I completely understand. Let's just get together and I promise I won't ask you for anything. It kills me to know that my personal concerns have prevented our spending more time together. Asking to meet you next week for lunch so that we can enjoy each other's company wouldn't be an ulterior motive would it? Ha ha.
I'm so relieved to know everything is okay now!
Skibby, Skibby, Skibby.
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